"In Jewish Tradition, it is a mitzvah, a good deed, to invite those who are traveling or without a seder. For one night everyone is mishpucha - family."

So I've avoided this post for a while because every time I go to write it, I come off as a crazy person.....kind of like when I debated sending a "support" letter to Britney Spears when she was at her most......unstable. I thought surely, this was the right time to swoop in and become her best friend; get her back on track, you know? But, I could never get the tone right and would come off as a psycho fan who had Hit Me Baby One More Time and Gimme More posters lining her walls.

Dear Britney,
I  love you. I really think we could be best friends. You should really think about getting your shit together.......

Dear Britney,
We should hang out some time.....

Dear Britney,
I'm nuts....

Anyway, I say this because I don't want you to think I'm crazy. Or that I'm being ironic when I say that I love Jewish people. No, I don't have posters of Moses and Woody Allen lining my walls, but I do have a great appreciation for everything that has to do with those I affectionately refer to as the Chosen People. And I apologize in advance if I offend you with my flippant language but rest assured my affection is genuine.

Whenever I meet someone who is Jewish, I am star-of-David-struck. "You're Jewish? Oh my G_d, I love the Jews!" which then prompts the cocked head, inquisitive brow look, "Are you Jewish?" at which point I answer,"Me? *disappointed sigh* No. I love Jesus.....But he was a Jew too, so....." which I follow with a noncommittal shrug.


I don't know where this love comes from. My cousin, A,  is Jewish, and she's pretty much one of the funniest and kindest people I know, so maybe it stemmed from there. Like most Jews, she's been given the gift of story-telling and humor. When we get together, besides the constant playful jabs at each others' religious affiliations, she will have the entire room in stitches, tears streaming down our faces, stomachs aching from our constant giggles due to detailed accounts of her hilariously unique adventures. Unique in that only she would be accosted by a rabbi on her way to class so she could participate in some random Jewish holiday involving a pineapple and a wooden cane. Or only she would get locked out of her yeshiva (in Israel) on a Friday because she forgot that on shabbos they disable the electronic gate; and just as she's hiked up her skirt to try and climb up the wall (a no-no where all the girls are basically dressed like Amish women), the rabbi comes out of the darkness and gently prompts her to freeze in a running man position with a, "Good evening, my child."  Or only she would come home to an unexpected order of a Costco-sized box of KY jelly to go with her new Ab FlexBelt. I don't know why these things happen to her, but I have faith that they definitely have something to do with her being Jewish. :)


Not only is she my favorite Jewish cousin, but she has spoiled me with her encouragement towards my Gentile curiosity. I must confess though, this kind of freedom has made me forget that sometimes my interactions with her may seem.....offensive (?) to other Jews who don't know that my love for their culture is pure. However, rest assured that I do try to keep my chutzpah to a minimum.

Anyway, when I was at a used book fair, I saw this lime green treasure peeking out from the pile and had to have it. The Matzo Ball Heiress by Laurie Gwen Shapiro. Chick-lit and matzo? L'chiam! 

Reasons why I loved it:


Yiddish - check
Self-deprecating Jewish humor - check
Hot Jewish men - check
Girlfriend with the last name Hitler - check


What else could a Jew-loving shiska ask for? Baruch hashem, let the hilarity ensue!

"Here's to the ones we love. Here's to the ones who love us. Here's to the ones we love who don't love us. Hell, screw them all, here's to us!"

Cassie Moore, Type-A personality, follows a "PLAN" that she created when she was 17. Step-by-step her life is planned out into a neat checklist.

At 28, she had most of her list checked off: she had a great job, a drool-worthy apartment and a loving fiance. But, as we all know, all that can change in the blink of an eye, or in this case, in the turn of a page...

Cassie goes into work early one day, gets called into the boss' office and instead of getting promoted gets FIRED! She gets home to find that she is being EVICTED from her apartment! And walks in on her "loving" fiance cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend!

Three strikes and you're OUT!

So she does what any sane 20-something would do. Calls her friends and drinks herself into oblivion. And let's admit, we've all had our share of blackouts, but did yours involve waking up the next morning to 13 missed phone messages from her mom, a flight booked to Buenos Aires and an apartment rented for six months. Talk about a blackout.

First thought: Where did she get the money to do this?
Second thought: Why don't I have this kind of money to do this?
Third thought: God, I need money
****Pity Party****
Fourth thought: SNAP OUT OF IT!

Cassie goes from control freak, to Argentinian fling-er, to even more rigid control freak, to finally, letting loose, throwing out all the plans and falling in love with the right guy (the guy who's been under her nose the whole time).

Lessons learned:
1. Do not ASSUME anything about anything/one
2. Allow for spontaneity
3. Life and Love are messy, so stop trying to tame/clean them up.

A deliciously intricate self-discovery book that reminded me that not everything is made to fit into a checklist or spreadsheet. A tough lesson to learn, being a control freak myself, but a good one nonetheless.